sTart Wart: the complete Triliogy!
by FingerLickinGood
Summary: Can Lucas and george starwalkers defeat Dark vader, his best friend General Gribbous and some other villains I haven't mentoned yet and restore pease to the universe? Find out in all six movies of tis altermant telling of Tar wars!
1. Episode Frour: the Force bomb

**Episode Frour: the Force bomb**

Space. The final countdownt

Dark vader was inside the darth star making his plans.  
"Otday I will take over the galaxy!" he cried, laughint in his helmet. "Kshhh..." he breathd.  
"How will you do dhat? asked his best friend General Gribous.  
I will use the force bom!" dark Vader said. "Kshhhh" he breathed. Dark vader licked to breath because he was a little fat under his suit but dont tell anyone shhh!  
"The force bomb... its perfect!" General Geebous laughed.  
They lavghed together and the camera zoomed out.

-

Meanwhile on Alderan, Lucas Skywalker was buying some droyds from a jawa. "I will take that one" said Lucas, pointing to a cool looking black droyd. The jawa made a jawa noise and Lucas handed him some money. The jawa took the droyd off the leash and gave it to Lucas and drove away.  
"Hello my mane is Rad-2D2." said the droyd.  
"Oh my goodness, you can talk!" inquired Lucas?  
"Of course I can talk . I am the radest droyd ever." Rad-2D2 exclaimed. He flexed his droyd musclkes and his head opened up and a fireork shot lout and explodd in the air. The explosion said "  
Rad-e2D2" it said.  
Wow! Lucas agreed, that is pretty rad.  
"I am the raddest droyd of all. It is to be expected" Suddendly gthe alarm ranged. "Oh no" shoutedd Lucas," I am late for Rebel school!" So he grabbed his toast and he crabbed Rad-2d2 and went of to shcool.  
AT school Lucas was sitting in his desk when the teartcher came in. "Good morning class," it said and the class sadid good mornting. "We have recieved bad news from the morning paper. Dark vader, boss of the Empire, is going to use the force bomb."  
There were gasps. Noone had used the borce bomb before. This was very daengerus. "The whole universe could br destroy!  
"Becauseo f the force bomb king of rebels Obi One is going to take a few fighters into the Dark Star and stop the bomb. He meeds tje best caddets from the training school. One of youw ill get to go. But you must fight for it begin!"  
All of the stuidents stood up and took out their blasters an begun to fire at one eachother. Some got shot and they fell down and died but they didn't because thwy weere wearing no-die armor.  
Lucas new this was daengerus but whe wasn't scared because he was the best shot in the hole class. He could shoot a womp bat from a planet away that's how good hewas.  
"Watch this" he inquired to Rad-2D2 and he took out his lifesaver gun (which is bothe a lifesaver and a gun at once) and he shot the other students with lifesaver sticks, even jeremy Wilkenson who is NOT as cool as him. Also his lifesaver gun was white because he was special. Pretty quick like he was the only student eft the others where all on the floor.  
"That was pretty rad," sayed Rad-2D2 as some sunglasses fell on his head. "That is just how arad you will have to be if you are going to be my pratner."  
"Good job" teacher congratulated "U are going to be new Rebel spaceman. Go off to rebel spacecamp and get training with Obi-One."  
And he did.

-

Dark vader's best friend General Greybus walked in to the room and said to Dark vather "Dark vaker there is somethign I need ot ell you."  
"What is it, Dark vader's best friend General Grendus?" asked Dark vather to general Grendel.  
"The rebel king Obi-One is getting rebel spacemen to attack our the darth Star!"  
so?" he breathed.  
"tey want to defeat us before we can use the fork bomb!"  
"Oh no! Kshhhhh, I will stop them Kshhhhhh. Is Luke or Leia with him? They are very strong."  
"No Luk and Leai are on vacation in the bahamas."  
"That is good kshhhhhhh" said dark vader. Dark vader did nt want to fight luke and Leia because they were his sons and he did not want to hurt them but he did not tell General Greycow this because he if he knew he would not think he was cool anymore.  
"No thing can stop us now!" General Grecco vociferationed.  
Ha ha ha ha ha kshhhhhhhhh!  
Kshhhhh kshhhh kshhh dskhhhh kshhh!  
"Here is your inhaler Dark baker" said handing him his inhalie because it is a joke and he is the comic relief.  
"Thank you."

-

Meanwhile Lucas landed on Tattoonine on his Rad-2D2 jet because Rad-2D2 could turn into a helicopter. "Tattoonine was the rebel planet where everyone had nine tatoos and that is whiy is was called Tatoonine. Tatonine was a desert planet and it was very hot.

"It's very hot" sweated Lucas.  
"Not for me said Rd2D because robots do not get hot."  
Ha ha they laughed but mostly they just sweated.  
"Welcome to Tattoonine," said a large hairy woman, "she said "I am Chewbacco, she said. And this is my pet, Hand Soap."  
Hello, waved Hand Soap. Hand soap was Harrison Ford with a lot of tatoos and a gun.  
"You sure hav e alot of tatoos " said Lucas, observantly.  
I have nine of them.  
"Can I see them?" "Ok."  
And Hand soap showed Lucas and Rad-Ds (that is his new nickname because it is hard to reach the 2 key with my fingers when I type) all eight of his tattoos.  
"Where's is the nineth tattoo?" axed Lucas.  
"That is a secret."  
"Oh."  
"Come on in ladies," said rebel king Obi-One. He was a beard. "It is time to train you in the way of the fork so we can stop the force bomb."  
"I already know the way of the fork," said Luca and he showed Obi-One is liifesaver gun and he pushed a rock with his mind.  
"I already have the force too" said Rad-Ds and he made everyone dance disco and forced a disco ball and music.  
"Okay then we don't have two train because you guys are great get ready to invade force bomb vader star!"  
Hooray! guffawed the rebels.

-

"even more bad news!" yelped General Moosecake, wearing a newspepper. What is it?  
Kshhhh said Dark vather.  
"Someone named Lucas Skywalker and sa cool droyd named Rad-2D2 and the king of rebels and Hand Soap and Chewbacco are coming to attack the Dark star and take our force bomb tonight!"  
"It is okay, kshh kshh kshh" Dark fader laughed, "Only those with the power of the fork can stop the fork bomb."  
"Ut Luke and Rad-Ds have the pork power!"  
"Oh no" Vaker laughed. "General Gresticle get upstairs on the roof and lead our forces into fight!"  
"Ok, best friend!" and he went.  
Noone can sotp us now! Who! Ha ha ha oh wait he laughs like ksh ksh ksh nevermind my backspace key is broken.

Up on the roof general Grestollio was talking with a Tye-fighter. "Get up there a nd stop those Rebels!"  
"OK" said the Tye-figther but then he exploded.  
What!

It was rebels!  
The rebels and the tie fighers began to attack each other so everoyne was distracted except the important people. Lucas landed the Space Helicopter made of Rad Ds and Rad-ds said  
"Hey Lucas, my man, go stop the force bomb I will deal with Deark vathern."  
"Ok."  
"Ok."  
"Notso fast!" Yelled a voice!  
It was General Gravely!  
"Dark Vader is my best friend and I will not lets you kill him!" General took out his two lightsticks. He had two! That was more than one.  
"What do we do now!" Luca bellowed.  
Suddenly a twinkle came out of the sky and hit general Greebous in the face!  
It was Hand Soap!  
Chewbacoo in the sky on a ship said "HEllo friends!  
Chewbaco! They chorused.  
"I threw Hand Soap at General Greendron to strop him from attacking you! Now go forth and preserve the justice of our culture!"  
And they did.  
"Rad Ds I am coming with uou" said hamp Soap.  
"Why?"  
"Because you are awesome and Lucas doesn't need any help."  
"Okay"

-

inside the aDark star!

"Kshhh... so you have come, Rad-2D2," he said.  
"That is right, broseph! You think you can defeat me? The one who taught you you how to fight1?

Gasp!

"That's right" said Rad-D, "I trained Dark varther! That is why he is almost as cool as me!  
"Kshhhh, my old master. We will fight nwo!" And they both took out their lifesaver sticks and began to fight. Dark Vader had his red life saber and Rad-D had a BALCK one because he is also special like Lucas.  
CLANG went their swords when they hit.  
o"Your think you can stop me now!" Dark aksed, "The galaxies will all be mine!"  
"No they will not!" Rad-Ds beeped.  
"WHAT!"  
"That's right! My partner Lucas Skywalker is goint to stop the force bomb right this minnute!"" they swinged their lifesavers a lot but Vader was a little better.  
"Even though I am cool you are a little better."  
"I know"  
"I have no more time to play with you!" Dark said, "So I am going to kll Lucus! Kshhh!"  
"No!"  
Juts then Lucas walked in because the force bomb was in the same room as the other guys. "Sorry I'm late you guyse I took a wrong turn at Albequerkee.." But this was no time for jokin'.  
"Lucas run,!" exclamatoried Rad-Ds! He's trying to kill you!"  
"Oh no."

"Not if I can stop him!" Yelped Hand Sop. Hand soap shot Dark Vather in the and some of his skin fell off. Hand Soap walked over and picked up the skin. It was his nineth tattoo!  
"Dark Vader had it all along." he explained/  
Now it was all coming together.  
"Nwo it is all coming together! said Rad-Ds, but I still have to stop you! Lucas I will bye you some time go and stop the force balm!" so she took out a giant black super life saver that was really scary and big and she hit Dark facer with it but Dark Vader just idnored it and stabbed Rad-Ds anyway.  
"Ow." Rad-Ds was sad and dead. Then his body disappered for some reason.

"Rad-2D2 no!" yelled Lucas!  
"Lucas u don't have time! you have to stopl the force bomb!"  
"Oh rite." So Lucas took his lighttaser and stuck it inside of the force bomb.  
"Kshnnnno!" said dark bader and he shot out a force lazer from his hand but it missed and the bomb began to wiggle. "What its happening!"  
Lucas smiled smuggly. "I graduated A+ of my class from phsycis!" he smugglied, "And I know that when it comest to force ebery action hs an equal and opposite react ion!"  
"No its true! KSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he breathed. And the force of the force bomb exploded the entire dark star!  
"We have to get out of here!" So they got on Hand Soap's ship and flew off into the distance.

"I am sad that Rad-Ds is gone," said Luke.  
"It is okay," Hand Soap exclammed, "He will always be with us and we will always remember him."

-

On rebel planet Tattoonine they were at the ceremony and everyone got a metal from Rebel King One-Obi. And they all lipped havilly ever after.

-

BUT SECRETLY ON ANOTHER SHIP!

"I can't believe they beat us! Kshhhhh! Kshhh Kshhh Kshhh!"  
"Don't worry, best friend, here, take your inhaler so you don't die." Said Gerbil Grevious, "We will get them later! They do not know we excaped the expolosions!"  
"Ha ha, you are right!" "And we will get them... We will STRIKE BACK!"  
Haa haa haaa haaa Kshhh hah ah aha Kshhh ha!

Fade out into space.

The end!


	2. Epsidoe Five: We will Strike Back!

**Epsidoe Five: We will Strike Back!**

Autors Note: Okay, so I have never actually SEEN star wards episode 5 but I read the summary on wikipedia so I am pretty sure I know what's going on.

One day Lucas skywalker was chillin on a sexy beach planet with his partner Rad-Ds. Rad-Ds turns to Lucas and said while sippin his lemonade" Hey man we should go to Degobah to train ourselves to be better in the way of the fork."  
Lucas turns to him and says "Okay so we can be stronger?"  
"yah"  
"So Lucas took his lifesaver gun and flew away in Rad-Ds space blimp form off to Degobah.

-

Meanwhile Chewbacco and Hand Soap were at the Rebel base on Planet Popsicle. planet Popsicle was a very cold planet and all the best popsicles in space came from there.  
"It sure is cold eher" Hand soap brred.  
"Maybe for you," joked Chewbacco. She was very war m in her thick brown fur.  
"Next time we go on vacation lets go somerohwere nice and warm!"  
"RrrreeeeeeE" said Chewbacco. She was eating a lemonade popsicle. "Slurp slurp slurp"  
"That is pretty sexy" blushed Hand soap.  
"What did you say Hand Sopa?"  
"Nothing." he blushed.  
"Okay that is what I thought you said. RrrreeeEEEEEE." And she went back to eating her propsicle.  
I'm glad nobody saw that! smiled Hand Soap.  
...But somebodry DID see it!  
A camera beeped in the corner and sent a message...  
but where did the message sent to?

-

Beep beep went teh dark star phone.  
"Hello, dis is General Greeble, may I ask who is speeking?"  
Beeep beep the camera sais. "I have detected the rebels on {opsicle Planet!"  
"Ptroooooo!" General Groovus spat out his tee that he was drinkin. "Rebels on Popsicle? I'd better send out da fleet. Keep manuring their positions!" The camera hung up the phone. "I should gcall Dark vader. ring ring. "Hello, dark vader?"  
"Hello? Kshhh"  
"Hello, it is your best friend General Bribble. I am calling to tell you wae're going to atack popsicle this afternoon because rebel is there. Do you want to come?"  
"Sorry I can't kshhh" said Dark Vader to the phone, "I am on vacation in Cloudville. I will be back necksd sunday. Have fun with those rebels."  
"Okay I will bye." click they hung up.

-

Back on Popsicle Hand Soap and Chewwybocca were sleeping together in a tawn tawn.  
"Isn't this nice and cozy?" inquried hand Soap.  
"Yeah, it's nice being here... with you." blushed Chevybocco. she was really blushed but Hand Soap couldn't see because she was really hairy.  
"Crewbacco..." said Soap. "i have sometine to tel you?"  
wat is it?" She said blushing even harder.  
"I lo-"  
BANGLASER!  
"Was what that!" whispered Chewbacco?  
Ring dong, said the doorbell.  
"I wonder who that is" said Hand Soap. "Who is there?"  
:Its the mailman." they said.  
"Come on in."  
"No wait Hand Soap!" cried Chewbacco. But it was too late.  
Bam! the door burst open and in came all of teh empire. Storktroopers game in in their Verizon-Verizons (Okay I remember their ships sounded like a telephone companty so this was PROBABLY what they were called) and they came stomping in firing their lasers! Pow pow bang.  
"Oh no!"" shouted rebels and they fell down, but most of them were okay because they were still wearing no-die armor. The rebels shot at the Empires but they were ALSO wearing no-die armor too!  
"What will wee do!" said Hand Soap.  
"Chill out dudes!" inquired a voice form the sky! Out came a ship and it was black and really cool looking so all of the both armies were distacted for a moment because of how aweosme it looked. The cockpit was a big disco ball and it was a jet. Out of the jet jumped Lucas Skywalker.  
"Take this!" he offered confidently, firing his lightsaber gun at a Verizin-verionz and they all blew up at ones.  
"Thanks for the help, Lucas!" thanke dChewbacco. Suddenly out of the snow popped General Greasy.  
"General Greilmerc!" said the rest.  
"Not so fast, rebel!" He said. "In name of teh empire we'll beat you ones and or all! Verizon-veriozns attack!" But a tie fighter leaned ober and whistered "Genereal! We don't have nay more soldiers. Lucas Starwalker killed them all!" "dang it! We will be back, rabel scum!" And General Gribble took a popscile and flew away from planet.  
"We one." said Obi-one, stroking himself. His beard.  
"Let's all go out and party in Cloudville to celebrat," suggested Rad-D jet and they all agreed.  
"Yes."  
"Yes."  
"Yes."  
"es."  
"YEts."  
And then they went."

-

Up and over in cloudevile Dark vader was on the poolside drinkin a hawayan drink from a coconoot.  
"I wish I didn't have a helmept on so I could drink this." he said  
"Ring ring." It was the camera. "Hello? said dark vather."  
"Hello this is bets friend General Grebo."  
"Hello Greebo!: " Dark smiled, how are you today? How did the invasion on Popsdtickle go?  
bad! actually everyone died.  
"WHAT!" said dark vader and spat our his drink that he hadn't actually drunk yet.  
"But I did get popsacle from Popsicle." General Greecie smiled.  
"Don't smile this is a srs situaton!" Dark exclammed through the telephon!  
"How can you tell i'm smiling; I am on the telephone? :( General Gibite asked.  
"Because you are right next to me kshhhhh:{" and camera zoomed out and General Grenko was stanking rightn next to Dark vather.  
Ha ha they laughed.  
"But this is srs omg we have to beat them before they defeat the entire Empiree!" Dark said.  
"I heard they were comign to vacation in Cloudvile!"  
detn we will get them when they come! I will call in Bobby Fett."  
Ring ring "Hello bobby?"  
"Who is this."  
"It is dark vader can't you tell by my kshhhhhes?"  
"oh hello. Would you like to order a pizza"  
"No Bobby I need u to kill some people kshhhhh"  
"I would like pizza!" said General Gringo.  
"Okay kshhhh we will also have one peper rony pizza."  
"Okay I will be there on the double bye and bobby hung up.  
We don't have to worry anymore, "said Dart water," Bobby Fett is the strongest pizzaman in the universe. He will take care of them. Hahhahahahaha!" They giggled.

-

Here we are on Cloudtown!" Sait chewbacco.  
""I have a friend here his name is Black guy (okay what is his name i do not remember but it is MY STORY so that is his name now) we should go visit him.  
So they did.  
" Black guy" waved Hand Soap  
""Hand soap!" said Black guy, putting down the piece of fried chicken he was eating "I have not seen you in forevr! Where is your handsome friend Lucas skywalker who saved the rebels. I want to KILL him."  
"What!"  
"oh no i meant to say thank him"  
Oh ok. Lucas is on Daygoby training with Yoda.  
"Ok tell me when he gets back so I can MURDER him."  
"What!" aked Chewwbacco? This Black guy seemed pretty suspicious to her.  
"I meant to say feed him some of my watermellons. Cloud world is famous for its watermellons."  
"Okay!" sad Handsoap.  
But Chewwbacoo wasn't so sure...

-

"Yogurt!" called Lucas on Daygoby. Lucas and Rad-Ds flew all the wya to Daygoby out in the far galaxy. It was a swam and it smelled. "Yogurt!" he calleda gain.  
" I don't think he's here" beeped Rad-Ds.  
But suddently Yoda ca;me out of the bushes.  
"In the bushes I was" said Yoda. Yoda was dislexic so everone called him Yogurt because he couldn't tell the difference anyway.  
"Hello yogurt, One-Obi king of rebells wants you to train me." said Lucas, "so I can best Jedi ever!"  
"Before you become best Jedi ever, learn how to use the forks you mutst," Yoda preached.  
"But Yogurt, I already know how to forts!"  
"And me too" beeped Rads.  
"Okay then let's just have a party and tell eceryone else we trained, we will."  
Lucas and Rad-Ds did not understand a single word yogurt said because he is dislexics but by co-incydink they decided to dance anyway.

-

Meanwhile on Cloud town dark Vater walked into the dinning room in his hawayyan t-shirt. "Hello, rebels! Kshhhh" he said.  
"Dark Vader, what is he doing here!" asked a surprised Hand Soap.  
Calb down, Hand soap," reccomeneded Black guy. Here. Why don't you have some more pizza!"  
"But I don't like Pepperonni1!" he sayed.  
"It's a trap!" yelled admiral fishman.  
ut it was too late. Black Guy swung open the pizza box and trapped Hand Soap inside. He couldn't even move.  
"Why. Balck guy why!" Chuewbacco cried?  
"Im not really Black Guy he said!" and he took off his face and it was Bobby Fett!"  
"Good work bobby, Kshhhhh" said dark vader. "Now we have captured all the most powerful rebel leaders!"  
Not ib I have anything to say about it!" A voice arose. And Genderal Girraffe took off HIS face and he was really Black guy all along !  
"What! Where id my REAL best friend, Black guy! Dark took out his lightstick.  
"I hid him in the cloud over there! Now give back Hand Soap!  
"Can't let you do that, Star Fox," said bobby fett, "I have othr deliberies tonight and I have to go." So he grabbed the pizza box and flew away in his jet shoos all the way into space.  
"No!" cried Chewbaco! "Hand Soap, I love you!"

But Hand Soap could not hear.

-

DARK VADER's POV

"Best friend! Kshhhh... where are you! Kshhhhh... kshhhh kshhh..."  
"Stop walking, you willl need your inhalier!" said a voice!  
"General Greevil!" happied Dark Vader. He turned around and there was a pizza box labled "Susag." " Of crouse! Kshhhh... Noone likes susage!" said DArk Vather. General Greevoos must be inside. He goes to open it...  
"Not so fast, dark vader!" called a handsome voice. There was Lucas skywalker and Rad-D! They were back from Daygoby!  
"You tink u can defeat me! KShhhhh... don't make me laugh. Kshh Kshh kshh." but it was too late. He was laughing anyway."  
"Yes we do think that!" Said Lucas. We have a secret now!  
Wat is it?  
"We learned how to dance wit yogurt!" Rad-Ds boogied. "And now we will defeat you and General Gobbledygook one and for all!"  
"Never!" Dark Kshhhhed and he pulled out his red light stick. "General Gristling and I made a promise to be best friends forever! Kshhhh, and that! Kshhhh is what we're gonna do!"  
"You can never beat our dance power forces!" said Lucas and Rad-Ds. And they began to breakdanc just like Yoga taught them. Their combined breakdandy force prooved to much for Dark, but just as they were about to defeat him Lucas accidentally sliced open the sausage piza box and General Greenus was freed!  
"Let's fight them together, oldp friend?" he asked.  
"Ksshhhhh... yes!"  
And the two fought the other two and it was very balanced, but Rad-Ds used his radical dancing fork moves and he cut off one of the Geberal's arms while doing a headspin.  
"It is okay, I have like six more of those," he said, and then like six more arms came out of him. He looked like a skeleton spider who was also a skeleton with lightsticks.  
"Wow, that is prety rad" Rad-2D2 admired.  
"Kshhhh... it is a good thing Kuke and Leia are not here or else the rebels would probably win this fight kshhhh" Dark sweated even though he was a robot man so he couldn't sweat.  
"Luke and Leia are my brothers!" said Lucas.  
"Gasp!" said Dark vader! He was so distracted that Lucas managed to cut off his arm but it was okay because he was a robot.  
"I kshhhhh had khsshsdhhs three shkhsssss sonsQ!" he asked.  
"Thats right! We were all at the family reunion accept YOU!"  
"Oh son kschhhhh I am so kshhhh sorry can you kshhhhh ever kshhhh forgive kshhhh me-"  
"Dark!" yepled General Grinbow, "You need your inhaler! We cant stay here any longer!"  
"...U are right... Keeeshhhhhhhh... Lucas... Kshhhhh... come find me KSSSSSH and join me KSHHHH and we will rule whole universe KSHHHHHHHHHHH as father and son SSKSHSHSSSS  
and Uncle Grebus "  
And he flew away.  
"...I can't believe my dad is Dark Vather!" said Lucus.  
"I know, right?" Rad-Ds beeped radly.  
Juts then Chewmoca and Black Man came in from Cloudville.  
"We have to find Hand soap becau;se I love him"  
"And I am his black best friend" they said respectively.  
"Okay Lucas agreed but firts I need a new arm because Dark Vather cut mine up ina breakdance fighgt." So Chewwy cut off some of her fur and Black guy used his voodoo magic and the hair turned into a super arm.

Now let's go save Hand Soap!" exclaimed C-3PO.

The End... for now!

Episode Sixx.: Saving Private handsoap.


	3. Episode Sixx Bffs forever!

**Episode Sixx; Bffs, forever!**

"Her is your picza, Mr. jabba," said Bobby Fett to the worm man jabba. Jabba's full name was Jabba the hut and bobby hwas a pizza man so they worked together to form the firts space Pizza Hut.  
"Gurgle gurgle" said Jabba. He was not very good at talkin so they mostly did janitor things at the pizza hut. They're pizza hut was on a giant cruise boat on Tattoonine so after people got their nine tattos they could come and eat pizza and forget about how much it hurt afterwards.  
Bobby handed Jabba the most the most important pizza bock of all. This one was verry big and Hand Soap-flavored because inside was not a pizza, but Hand soap!  
"Whatever u do dont ipen dat box Jabba" warned Bobby shakin his figner.  
"Ok" said Jaba but he actually just gurgled. Bobby was his boss and he ddn't want to get firred or else he wouldnt be able to get a nother job because he was big and ugly and couldnt' talke.  
Then the shop opened qand in walked a Cewbacco in a trencoat and hat with C-3Po and all the otghers on her shoulders.  
"Hello I would like one hand soap flavored pizza" she asked.  
"Gurgle gurgy" salt Jabba and we went to get the big pea box.  
Suddenly COUGCH!1!  
"What was that?" thought Jabba and he turned around and the nice man's hat was coughin.  
"Pretty suspicious!" he said.  
"Be quite CPthree-0!" said Rad-Ds, on top of CCP0's head. "You'll ruin the mission!"  
"Sorry, gazumptight!" he said, blessing himself.  
"Geez, CP30, stop being so gay!" said Lucas. and CP30 was sad because he was gay.  
"Gurgle gurgled gurglin" said JAbba and he held up a sing that said "TEN DOLLERZ PLEASE" excapt the R was backwards because he was dumb.  
"Okay sounds great" exclaimed cHewbacco I will just get out my space wallet now... "And she fished around in her trenchpocket but it wasn't actually her because Lucas was the arm\  
"Here it is." she said, but when she pulled it out it wasn't her wallet it  
was C3PO!  
"Ow my fanny" he said because fanny is a gay word for gays."  
There cover was blown! Jawa sounded the alarm and bobby fett came in the room.  
"What is dgoin on here!" he cried.  
"You are so stupid CPCO" said! Rad-Ds, so Rad-Ds took out his black lightsaber and breakedanced abunch of stormtroopers to death because they were on vacation at the pizza hut boat and NOT wearin their no-die armor.  
And Lucas jumped out of the arm and used his lightsaver to attack Bobby Fett.  
"Hah! You can't follow me over here," said Bobby, heading into the pool deak, "because this is the pool deak and lifesabers don't work underwater!" So bobby jumped into the pool except he missed and jumped into a sand monster hole and died.  
"Looks like that's the end of Boby!" said Lucas laughed!  
Juts then Chewbacco opened the pizza box and out popped Hand Soap.  
Hand soap!  
And they made out and kissed because they were in love.  
"I luv u hand Soap" he said  
"I luv u Chewbacca" she said.

Suddenly the mail bird came and dropped off a newspaper.  
"What does it say?" asked Rad-Ds.  
"Oh no!"  
Gasps!  
"Dark Vader and General Graveus have built another Darth Star!"  
Gasps!  
"And the Dark Emperor is coming himself to the grand opening party!"  
GASPS!  
"We'd better go tell Yogurt about this" said Lucus.

-

Meanwile on teh Darthe Star II General Gimli and his best friend DArk Vader were dressed in their finest Sunday-go-to meetin' clothes greeting people to the new Darth Star Gala, the swankiest party in all of the galaxy.  
"Welcome, kshhhh," said Dark Vader, "So glad you could come." In walked tie-fighter.  
"Can I take your coat, tie-fighter?" asked General Grinch.  
"No, but u can take my TIE!" he joke.  
Ohohohohoho they laughed fancilly. It was the best party ever.  
Suddenl all the lights went out except for one which was still on and pointing at thte top of the Darth Star stairs. A red droyd in a tuxedo came out to announce.  
"Anouncing his madjesty, Dark Emperor!" And at the top of the stairs appeared the Dark Emperor. Gasp! went the crowd and they all put down their caviar and wine so they could bow.  
"Greetings, subjects." he coughed. The Dark Empror was two hundred years old and he looked like a wrinkly marshmallow but people like him anyway because looks aren't everything you know.  
"Hello, Dark Emperor" Greeted Dark Vader.  
"Hello son," said Dark Emperor to Dark Vader.  
"He calls me son because his is my adoptave dad, kshhhh," said Dark Vader to General Grassland, "That is why both of our names have Dark in them. Dark is our last name but we say it first just like Japansese people."  
"I know Dark," whipsered General Greebens, "I was there when you were adopted."  
"Oh rite. Kshhh." "We have been friends for a really long time."  
"Yep."  
"Stop your whisperin' over dere, boys" said Dark Emperor. "It's time to party!" And the Dark Emperor spiked the punch and they all began to boogie.

-

Lucas and Rad-Ds teleported onto Daygoby to tell Yogurt about the Dark Star 2, but when they got there and got to his hobbit hole house noeone was inside.  
"Where is Yogurt?" they asked.  
Over in the corner of Daygoby was a gravestone.  
"Here lied Yoda: The best dancing Jedi puppet ever."  
Except Yogurt was dislexic so when he wrote it he spelled everything wrong.  
"Olh no," said Lucas, "How will we warn Yogurt now!"  
"I know! Ghost vision" said Rad-Ds and he turned on his ghost vision.  
Goats everywhere!  
But none were Yogurt!  
"Hello Yogurt," said Lucas."  
"Lucas, hello" Yogurtt responded. As usual Lucas couldn't understand anything he said because hew as dislexic, but he pretended anyway because he was polite.  
"I am here to warn you that Dark and General have maked new Dark Star."  
"No, oh! Go and talk with your dad, you must. Convince him to Convince him to destroy the Dark Star and the Empire, you must!"  
"Okay!" said Lucas and he and Rad-Ds flew off.

-

Meanwhile the rest of the rebels were on Endor at the anual Rebel picnic.  
"Pass the potato salad!" laughed Obi-One, king of rebels. He was havin a good time.  
"Here you go!" said Admiral Trap, and he passed them.  
"Can you hand ME some of that chicken?" aksed Black Guy.

(OOC: OKAY so it turns out that SOME PEOPLE think I am a RACICST, which is totally untrue! and told me I used a lot of "offensive stereotypes" last time with Black Guy, so he's NOT BLAK ANYMORE OKAY! I decided to make his character better so he's white now so now it's not racist anymore)

"No broblem," said admiral Trap handing him some fried chickens.  
"Thnaks!" and Black Guy ate them in one bite with his huge lips.  
It was great picnic. Hand soap and Chewbacco came late because they were too busy kissing on Hand Soap's giant falcon, but they brought the lemonade.  
"I've got the lemonade, chaps!" said CP30, but then he tripped over somethign and spilled it.  
"C2PO1!" said Chewbacco while kissin  
"I'm sorry..."  
"He was probably distracted by all of the MENS BUTTS he was lookin at because he is gay so he tripped," giggled handsoap.  
And the whole camp laughed at harridson ford's joke.  
"No!" lied C3P0, "I tripped over this!" And they all looked up to see whatg it was. It was a gigant chain that was tied around a tree. The other end was tied to the Dark Star!  
"This must be where they parked the DArk star for hte party!" said Obi-One. "We have to get in there and stop them!" So all the rebels took their picnic and went up the chain. At the top was a Stormtrooper in a tuxedo.  
"Invitations please." he requested.  
"I do not have an invitation." admited Obi-one.  
"Then u cannot get in! this is a private party."  
"oh well..." said Rebels, and they all went home.  
"We need to find a way into that party! said Chewbacco," "but HOW!"

-

At that time Lucas and Rad D's appeared next to the Dark Star and walked up to the fromnt door.  
"I'm here to see DArk Vader," said :Lucas.  
"Do u have invitation?" asked Stormtrooper.  
"I dunno." Rad, did we get invitation?"  
"Yeah," said Rad-2D2, "I used my Ghsots Vission to take it from some ghosts. Here you go"  
"Go on in" pointed the Stormtrooper.  
They walked inside. Everywhere was party.  
"Wow, what a swank party," cooled Rad-Ds. "I haven't been to a prty this fancy in a while."  
"Quick, let's find Vader!" ushered Lucas and they went.  
Vader was over in the corner playin pin the tail on the donkey with General Gribbons. he was winning because he kept his eyes open the whole time but no one could tell cause he was wearin a helmet.  
"Vader!" cried Lucas.  
"Son!" surprised Dark Vader.  
"That's right, I have come to defeate you!"  
"Son!" DArk hugged his robot arms around his song, "I missed you. Kshhhh. Quick, let's go do son things like fishing!" and then they went to fish leaving Rad-Ds with General Gelato.  
"Cool party."  
"Thanks."

-

Meanwhile down on Endor the rebels were coming up with a plan.  
"I have no idea what we should do," said Hand Soap.  
"I know," said Chewbacca. "Let's make out." so they kissed and rolled around and kissed s'more.  
They were stumped.  
Sudddenly a monkey came down from the sky and sat next to C3POo.  
"Hello," he said to the monkey.  
"that monkey wont listen to you because you'r GAY" said One-Obi and everyone laughed. C3PO cried and his cheecks began to rust. But as it turned out the MONKEY was gay to!  
"Are you gay?" asked C3P?O  
"Ook" sayed the monkey.  
"Okay let's do it." And C3PO and the monkey had sex right then and there. After, the monkey called all of his friends down and they were called Ewoks and they all had big penises and C3P0 sucked everyone one of them so they all begame friends. The rebels did not watch because it was too gay for them.  
"Guys, the monkeys gave me a ticket for the party!" said CP3O.  
"Great work Hand soap!" said One-Obi taking the ticket, "But we can only send one rebel. Who do we send...?"  
"I have an idea!" ideaed Chewbacco.

"Hello, welcome to Dark star, do you have an invitation?"  
"I sure do!" said Chewbacco. She was dressed in the same trenchcoat and stranding on Hand Soap's and Black Guy's shoalder's. "Here you go." Hand swop awkwardly handed him the invite.  
"...Hey," said the storktrooper, "You guys aren't REBELS are you?"  
"Of cuorse not! Ehehehehe! FRRRRRRrreeeeee! See? Rebels don't Reeeeeeee. Only woolies do and I am a woolie not a rebel."  
"Oh okay go on in."  
And they went in.

-

"I have told you Dark Vader, I do not want to fish, I want to fight!" said Lucus holding a fishin rod.  
"No! We have to do dad son things because I have been a bad dad and we have to make up for the lost times. Kshhhh."  
"But I don't want to fish."  
"Do you want to play some baseball? Kshhh."  
"No."  
"Kshh... do you want to go fishing?"  
"No!"  
"Sorry I do not know any other things dads do. Kshhh. I have never had a son before. Except for Luke and Leia I guess but they don't count they are still on vacation on the bahamas. Kshhhh."  
"You sure Kshhh alot." Luke observed.  
"That is because I need kshhhh a life breather kshhhhh inhaler or else I will die kshhh."  
"DIE, eh? Lucas had an idea.  
Meanwhile General Griccing and Rad-Ds were having a dance contest in the middle of the Dark Star and all of the fancy storktroopers and Empires around them were watching. They were both pretty good. Even the Dark Empeoror stopped his wine tasting to watch.  
"What a fine show." he chortle-laughed.  
"Freeze, suckahs!" shouted Black guy, jumping out of Chewbacco's trenchcoat. he took out his blaster and held it sideways.  
"There goes the neighborhood!" Dark Emperor joked. Everyone laughed, because if they didn't it was the law that he could kill them.  
"You can't beat us rebels, said Hand soap" jumping out of the coat.  
"Yeah!" said chewbacco.  
"Yeah!" said admiral trap.  
"Whoop!" said CP30, rolling out of the coat and landing on his face withh his butt and fanny pack in the air.  
"C3PO!" they all said, even the Empires. They had all heard of his gayness.  
"What are YOU doing here! ?"  
"I wanteed to help."  
"You can help by going home!" said Rad-Ds.  
"YEAH!"  
"I shall get rid of him," said Dark Empire.  
"No master, allow me." and General Grenddy picked up C3PO after putting on some gloves (he did not want to catch the gay) and he threw him out the window.  
"Who should I take care of next?" asked General Dempster?  
"No, please," said the DArk Emperor, lighting up his hands with lightning, "Let me have some FUN!"  
Gulp!

-

Otherwheres Lucas had taped Dark Vader up to a wall with the force and stuck him there.  
"Kshhh... are you sure this is what fathers and sons do, Lucas? Kshhhhh"  
"I am definitely sure!"  
"Well that's good, kshhhh. Now we have bonded!"  
"Bonded YOU!" Lucas quipped. "I lied! And now you are stuck to a wall so you will die and not get your inhaler in time!"  
"GASP!" Dark Vader was sad. He really wanted to be a good dad and now he was going to die. This was the worst day EVER.

Actually I like Dark Vader more than Lucas now that I think about it so now HE is the main character instead of him.

"How do I get out of this one!" said Dark as Lucas laughed evilly. "I know! Kshhhhh. Kshhh..." And Dark took out his General call wich called all generals to his aid and he blew it.  
"Tweet!"  
"what was that!" asked Lucas.  
"Kshhh... Now General Gruntilda will come can he has my inhaler! He will save me! Kshhhh!"  
"Not if I have anything to say about it!" lucas said, and he took out his red lightstick because he was evil now.  
Meanwhile in the other room Dark Emperor and General Giordano's were fighting all of the rebels and the party people were running away in scary.  
"Hahahaha! Take this!" said Emperor, and he lightninged Chewbacco's coat and all the rebels exploded out of it.  
"Good shot, boss!" said the general. Suddenly he herd a noise.  
"Tweet!:"  
It was the General call!  
"Boss I have to go Dark needs me" said General Gerbilmeat.  
"Okay," coucghed the old miser, "but first u need to kill most of these rebels."  
"Ok you got it." So General Ginglebells took out his four lightsticks and stabbed Chewbacco and Hand Soap and Black Guy and Admiral Fishman and King one-Obi and Jeremy Wilkenson all in the face and they all died.  
"Now I have to go!" so he took his inhaler and left."  
"Hahaaha, perfect!" said Lucus, Everything is going to plan!" Justs then General Grundyonamundy came in with his lightsticks.  
"I'll save you, best friend!" he said, and he sliced him down from the wall. "Shall we fight him together?"  
"Thanks, no, Kshhhh, he is my son so just knock him out."  
"Okay."  
"Just try!" and they had to try really hard. It was the best firght ever because Luke was the best Jedi ever, but Dark Vader used to be the bets Jedi ever and General Gingerbread had six lifesticks so it was a pretty even fight. Eventually General Astoldbyginger and Dark Vader managed to combine their power to go Super Sayan 2 and they used the side of their lightsticks to knock Lucas out.  
"Kshhhhhhh! Kshhhhh!"  
"Calm down, best friend," said General Gotye, I've got your medicine. His chest cavity opened and out came an inhaler on a stick. Dark vader bent over and drank it.  
"Ahh, much better."  
"Quick, we'd better go help Boss Emperor witht hose Rebels."  
"Ok."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" laughed the Black Emperor, firing his lightning and force sticks in all directions. Many rebels died. "Nothing can stop me!" But then something DID stop him!  
It was Chewbacco! She threw him off of the tower and down into the land of gay monkeys where he was sexed forever. "Nooooooo!"  
"Ha ha!" she laughed.  
"I can't believ e we survived!" said Black guy.  
"Yeah, it's a good thing C3PO was here because he is made of no die armor and we all took a part of him and blocked the stabs."  
"Yay!" they all said. Except Jeremy wilkonson because sadly there was not enough armor for him.  
In came Dark VAder and General Gerhambur.  
"Oh no, the Emperor is dead! Kshhhhhh"  
"The Empire is over!"  
"There's just one last thing to do!" said R (Rad-Ds is too hard to type so he is just R now) and he and Hand Soap and all their friends and Black guy frlew into the core of the dark star and pressed the "blow up" button and flew away.  
"Rebels win!" they cried, flying off into the distance. The stormtroopers and tiefighers began to run around and panic.  
"What do we do!" asked General Ghostintheshell?  
"Kshhh, calm down everyone. We made a "save all the peopel on the Dark Star in case it blows up button" after we made the "dark star blow up" button just in case."  
"Why did you make that button in the first place?" asked Governer Tarkin.  
Dark Vader shot him through the face with this Force beam.  
"Quick, everyone off the ship! General Grincent, come with me! It takes 2 peaople to press that button (it is very big)"  
"Okay, best friend!"  
And they went.  
"Not so fast!" said Lucas and he shot his lightsaber gun right through General Grizzly's chest and the inhaler explolded. "Now you'll die forever, dad!" ahahahaha!" And lucas jumped away.  
"Dark Vader! Oh no!"  
"Kshhhh, it's okay, General Gaston, but right now he have to stop dat force bomb!  
And so they went to the control room and jumped on the button together and all the stormtroopers and tie fighters in suits were saved because they were shot out of the Dark Star.  
"Best friend, we need to get out of here and get you another inhaler with hasty!" shouteed General Grunge.  
"No."  
"Why NOT!"  
"Because it is impossible to get out... kshhhh it is too big..."  
"It's not that long of a walk."  
"No... the Dark Star is still going to explode! With us inside ob it! Kshhhh!"  
Oh

-

Rebels' POV

Congratulations, everyone" said Obi-One, "The empire is defeated an I promote you all to king of rebels."  
And they all cheered.  
"Black chicken for everyone!" yelled black guy.  
But R and Lucas would have none of the chicken. They were too busy flightin' off looking for adventure int heir dance-mobile for happilly ever after as the Dark Star II exploded in the background.

TheEnd!

**BONUS SCENE:**

The lights of the Darth Star's core flickered on and off wildly to the cacophony of warning sirens. They were a little like stars, Dark noticed, twinkling in the night. He longed to see the wild expanse of space again, but he knew it was not to be. This would have to do.

"Is there nothing we can do?" asked the General? He too was looking at the flashing lights. Dark gave a heavy sigh through his respirator.

"I'm afraid not, old friend." Another loud breath. It had been too long since his last breath through the insulator. "But we've saved or citizens, haven't we? The Storktroopers and Tie-fighters will live to see another day."

"And us?"

"No. We will not"

"I see."

Something exploded a room over. The smoke began to billow into the core, but neither of them noticed. The general laughed through his shaking, white armor.

"It seems like such a long time ago... that day the two of us met on Naboon. We've shared a lifetime together, you know?" Dark chuckled.

"I don't regret a moment of it," he said.

"Neither do I."

"I'm glad I could share such a long, fruitful life with you, old friend."

"Perhaps we can share another, somewhere in the afterlife," the general mused.

"Hah! Haah... Yes. Perhaps we shall. I can only hope so."

"Ten seconds until self destruction," the Star's computer warned.

"Goodbye, old friend," the general.

"Goodbye."

Dark Vader grabbed General Grevious's white, metalic hand in his black robot glove and held it tightly as the Darth Star exploded in a great ball of flame, taking the two best friends and the last dreams of the Empire with it.

~Fin


End file.
